To Be Alone
by sasunaruroxs9300
Summary: Bad Summary Rated M to be safe


**To Be Alone**

Naruto's life wouldn't be what you call "perfect", or fair for that matter. Yes we all know the story of Kyuubi and how he's the most hated person in the village for being the container of said fox. His reputation of being the most optimistic, happy going guy in the village is nothing but a façade. It's really pathetic that all his so called 'friends' couldn't see through it. Is it really that hard to see, when he has been alone and treated like shit all his life? Then again all his life, you learn to hide these things.

All the shit that happened during his time of living; his best friend nearly killed him by putting a fist sized hole in his chest and then came back three years later after killing his brother. The girl that was supposed to be his only close friend and teammate was willing to leave with the best friend mentioned. No one could ever understand him and his issues, besides he wouldn't want anyone to understand because that would nearly destroy their heart with all the things that he went through on his own with no one to mend or pick up the pieces that had fallen.

Sure there was Gaara, another container. He would surely understand what kind of pain he was going through, but in reality he didn't. Gaara isolated himself from everybody. Everyone feared him because he didn't take crap from anyone. If they made fun of him or tired to hurt him he would kill them on the position they were in. Naruto didn't want to be feared by anyone. All he wanted was to be accepted or at least for someone to acknowledge him. All the hard work that he's done; no one had complemented him or even noticed him. Maybe there was a pat on the back from Kakashi-sensei, but that wasn't what he wanted...no needed. He needed, as pathetic as it sounded to him, a hug. He didn't want the pity. Pity was like poison to him. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. It made him angry to see that some of his "friends" had that poison in their eyes. That's when he started to not care what everyone thought of him. He would make his own accomplishments and congratulate himself.

People think that he's a dumb blonde that is pathetic and will always be a dead last. Yes he failed the graduation exam four times. Yes he couldn't make a simple replication, but what makes you think that he didn't do that on purpose. With the image that he set up he's suppose to be the worst at everything, the stupid blonde haired, blue-eyed freak with a demon inside of him. There is more to him than meets the eye.

Uchiha Sasuke confessed that he was his best friend, in the valley of the end. In the mist of battle, that is where all the emotions were let out of Naruto. All the years of pent up emotions being brought up in just six little words "I consider you my best friend".

After the battle, Sakura came to the hospital to visit, wait to visit, no I'm sorry to yell at Naruto. Saying all this shit about her beloved Sasuke and how Naruto drove him away with his annoying person. The only words that he heard from her mouth were 'worthless, pathetic, MONSTER'.

Monster kept ringing in his ears. Kyuubi was mocking him, mocking him until it got into his very being. He grabbed his holster and got out his kunai. He stabbed himself where the fore arm connects to the elbow. He just kept piercing and piercing his arm until you could see the muscle and the bone. Sakura was taken back and horrified by his abrupt actions. She screamed, telling him to stop it and called Tsunade. What scared her most was that he didn't make a sound when completely ripping apart his arm. The only kind of emotion he showed was the shaking of the head as if saying no to his own person. That is true but he was saying no to Kyuubi. Tsunade came rushing in and was appalled by the scene she was witnessing. It took five strong men to get the kunai out of Naruto's hand. After all this, Naruto was still silent. She took him into surgery right away so he wouldn't have to lose the arm. Apparently the surgery wasn't necessary; Kyuubi was healing him exponentially.

We all know that the demon had no part in his arm butchery. The demon loved to push him to the edge. Normally, he wouldn't let the some bitch or Kyuubi get to him but the demon just kept mocking him and saying what everyone else thought he would be. Kyuubi had an advantage against Naruto. He was able to create virtual images in his mind of his worst nightmare. I don't think I'll tell you his nightmare, not now anyways.

When he woke up the Hokage bombarded him with questions and worrisome insults. 'You baka! What were you thinking?' and he would answer 'Kyuubi took over. Sorry Baa-chan' with his trademark smile and the rubbing of the back of his neck. She finally left him alone to rest. If she knew what drove him to that then she would never leave him alone, let alone him carrying sharp objects. That day was the first time he had lost control of his emotions. He promised himself that that would never happen again. If he did, he would kill himself.

For two and a half years, Naruto trained with Jiraiya. As he got older, he started to push himself to be the most excellent that he could be, staying up countless nights trying to master a jutsu. That didn't mean that anyone noticed it. Even Jiraiya didn't know his full length of his ability. Gradually as he got physically stronger, he would learn a jutsu the same hour he was taught it. Gradually, meaning to his standards, which were very advanced. He would just make it look like he struggled a bit. In every place they stopped, Naruto would pick up some extraordinary and rare techniques. He would make his own accomplishments and congratulate himself. He didn't need praise from anybody. He worked for himself and himself alone. Self motivation is what Naruto is. He thought by training he would be able to get Sasuke back, but all it proved was that it was a waste of time.

Sasuke did eventually, come back on his own. He was welcomed with open arms because he killed three missing Nin, including Orochimaru, not to mention he is the last surviving Uchiha. He didn't really change. He was still the cold-hearted bastard that he was when he was twelve, although, he was a bit more conversational and communal. Everyone else forgave the bastard so effortlessly even though they hardly knew him. Sakura was being her old childish character, hanging all over Sasuke, like the little slut she is. She glomped him the second he walked into the Hokage's office. Everyone was there, the rookie nine, the sensei's' from each team, and the little ninja academy students. The only person that would not talk to Sasuke was Naruto. Naruto was leaned against the wall in the corner of the large room with his arms crossed, looking out the window with a blank face. He wasn't really expecting anyone to come and to talk to him, a lot of the rookie nine heard about his mental breakdown in the hospital from a nosy bitch. He didn't feel like talking at all to the people that were easily fooled by the charade this person put up.

When Sasuke came and said "I'm back Dobe", Naruto cracked a little and barged out of the room with the meanest glare you would ever see. It even rivals the famous Uchiha glare. Everyone stared wide eyed at Naruto's reaction.

Sasuke caught up to him. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" exclaimed Sasuke. Naruto did not look him in the eyes. He was sick of people thinking that they could do whatever they want then come back and hope to be forgiven so easily. Naruto put his mask on and playfully punched him in the arm. He smiled that trademark smile and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry Sasuke just had a little too much to eat." With that, Naruto calmly walked away, leaving a dumbstruck Uchiha.

That was the last time Naruto talked to him in a month. Every time Sasuke tried to talk to him he would always escape. Sasuke tried countless times to try and make Naruto fight, spar, do anything, react in any way, even by calling him by their old pet names like "Usuratonchi" but Naruto just ignored him.

A few weeks later, Naruto came back from a B class mission. When he walked through the gates he was confronted by a bunch of ninja that just had a little too much to drink, considering the way there breath smelled. There was about four or five of them; all of them looked to be Jounin rank. They were following him and from what he could sense they were hungry, for what? He didn't know. He walked a little bit faster and so did they. When he got to his apartment he opened it and tried to close it as fast as he could but a foot beat him to it. All five of them came in with evil grins on their faces. Maybe he shouldn't have trained in the forest before he came home. Naruto was too tired to fight them. So he decided to let them beat him up for tonight. Oh but he was mistaken, they didn't want to beat him, they wanted to do so much more vile things.

God he tried to fight them but there were too many. It was a long and excruciatingly painful night for Naruto. When they left, he stayed on the floor, not moving, or even blinking. He was just there lying on the floor with the most agonizingly sorrowful eyes you would see. The deep blue eyes looked completely defeated and broken, without a speck of hope his now lifeless blue eyes.

There was a knock on the door, that's what knocked him out of his trance. He pulled up his pants and put on a fake smile for whoever was at the door.

Sasuke.

Sasuke was at the door asking if he wanted to—He didn't finish his sentence when he pushed past Naruto to the puddle of blood that was on the floor of the living room. "Where is that from?" he commanded. "Why would you care anyways?" a defeated whispered that came from Naruto. That stung Sasuke but then he noticed and smelled the semen that was on the floor right next to the blood. He didn't want to accept what he thought happened, he. Could it be? No it couldn't, Naruto would never let this happen. He wouldn't let himself get—raped. "Naruto what happened?" Sasuke demanded. He didn't receive an answer. He grabbed Naruto and slammed him against the wall. Naruto hissed in pain when his back side connected to the wall. "Answer me, damn it." "Leave me alone" in a deathly calm voice. Naruto got a hold his wrist and squeezed it until Sasuke released his grip. "Get out" that was all Naruto said when he through Sasuke out the door.

Naruto did not come out of his rundown apartment all day. He cleaned his entire house from head to toe, without eating since before his mission. After that incident, he took a blistering hot shower to wash away at least a little of the filth that was on him.

He then went to bed and closed his eyes. To anyone watching him, he would look like he was sleeping peacefully. He wasn't sleeping; he was laying in his bed thinking, what's keeping me from leaving this village for good? No one wants me here. The ones that claim to be my friends wouldn't care because they have plenty of other friends and the only thing that they do for me is show pity. I should just leave like Sasuke did; at least I know no one will come after me. They wouldn't save a demon. No one could ever love a demon. Each demon he was saying came out hissed. Kyuubi was even agreeing with him on this. "Screw this village. Its decided, I will leave at midnight." Then he can finally be alone.

There is big a difference between lonely and alone.

Lonely is when you want someone to be there, someone to comfort you when you're feeling crestfallen, but in the end, you know there will never be someone. To be lonely is when you nearly die of heart break and feel like you have no purpose when there not with you anymore. To be lonely is when you feel the need to be taken care of, if you fall, there will be someone there to catch you. That's what it means to be lonely.

Alone is what you want or what you create. It's what someone does if they want to be without anyone and just live by themselves and be content with that and that alone. To be alone, one must deny all people the right to get into your heart, even the people that were in there to start with. To be alone, one must have the courage to push the persistent ones aside and never look back. And to be alone, one must be numb to the people you broke while trying to achieve the state of complete solitude.

Naruto considered himself to be a lonely person when he was a small boy but now he just wants to be alone. The pain that people bring is just not worth the torture and aggravations that they bring. Even when it's not necessary, they make you feel like you're the worst person, they make you feel like you want to die and never be born in to this so called perfect world that you just unperfected with your mere presence. I guess in a way it makes you stronger to hear these word from people if you have a strong mind, but if you are already strong then what's the point? It's just another annoyance to deal with.

The way Naruto got a strong mind was to act apathetic and blunt. Thinking of other people's feeling is a load of shit. Why care about them if their feelings get hurt at everything you say.

He packed the little clothes he had and a little trinket that the third Hokage gave him when he was just a little boy of six years. It was a block of glass that you could see through and in the middle of it was a green leaf with silver outlining. It glowed in the moonlight sky. He left the fifth Hokage's necklace on his dresser with his forehead protector. He put on Sasuke's with the slash in the middle of it, stating that he was now a missing Nin. He was ready to leave and never comeback to this repulsive village. When he walked out the door, a light breeze was spread throughout the village, ruffling his blonde hair. He started his path to the gates. No one was there guarding it, probably on break.

It felt refreshing being out of the village, but I guess life is a bitch because Sasuke slammed him up against a tree. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he whispered in a deadly voice. Yet his eyes didn't match his voice, there was hurt and betrayal in dark charcoal eyes. He didn't get an answer because he was shoved off. Naruto ran as fast as he could. Sasuke was on his tail.

Naruto was doing this on purpose. He was taking him to the Valley of the End, just like in their first fight. But this time Sasuke will know how it feels being deserted, to feel vulnerable and weak.

As they went farther into the forest, Sasuke kept trying to stop Naruto with his jutsu. Naruto had grown much stronger to his surprise. He dodged his attacks as if it were nothing. 'So this is the real Naruto.' Sasuke had always known that Naruto was way stronger than he led on. The time was in the Forest of death, the battle against Gaara and the battles between him and Naruto. They were all too close. They were perfectly matched to be not holding back. Naruto never showed his strength. Sasuke's opinion was that maybe Naruto was scared that people would reject him even more, so he hid everything under a shadow.

They got to the clearing and Naruto stood on top of the water with his back to the raven haired ninja. "Sasuke, do you know where we are?" said Naruto. Sasuke was stunned by the unexpected question. He really hadn't noticed where they were going, but once he looked around he paled a little. 'The Valley of the End' Naruto darkly chuckled at the quiet gasp coming from his ex-teammate. Ex-teammate? He liked the sound of that.

"So you finally noticed. This will be the last place you see me." It was so final the way he said it. "Why are you leaving Naruto? People will be hurt. Are you forgetting about your dream of being Hokage?" Okay, Naruto was pissed, beyond pissed. He dares say that when those were the same exact words he said to him in the beginning of their battle when they were twelve. "I'm leaving to get away from this village. Why else? And that dreamed died the day it became a dream."

They both just stood there, not moving an inch, until one of them spoke. "I won't let you." That is where the battle began. "Who are you to tell me if I can or can't go? Huh?!" Punch "Because what your doing is stupid, there is no reason for It." kick "No reason huh?" everything stood still, not a sound was made.

Naruto walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. He whispered through a silent voice and gritted teeth, "How would know if there was a reason or not?" he decked him right in the face so fast and hard he hardly knew what was going on until he landed forty feet away from the pissed off blonde. "You don't know what shit happened while you were gone, what nightmares I lived through, you were never their! You can keep your friendship. I'm done. If you don't leave me alone I will not hesitate to take away what is most precious to you." Sasuke was heartbroken and guilty. Naruto had hardships that no one could relate to. His best friend was no longer his best friend anymore. It was poignant really because this must have been how Naruto felt when he left. It was the most painful thing he had ever felt since his family's massacre. "And what if you were my precious one?" "Well I've already taken it away, now haven't I?" "I'm not letting you go without a fight." "Just like old times eh?"

The battle went on for hours. To Naruto it was so easy and sort of disappointing. There attacks were fierce and deadly, not equally but to their standards. The speed these warriors were going was invisible to the naked eye.

One of them had tears in their eyes. The other just wanted to get out of here so he wouldn't cry either. "I'm sorry Naruto that I don't know what you're going through, but I won't let you leave." "It's already been decided. I'm going to leave and that's how it shall be."

With the battle being close to the end, Naruto used a powder that is used to put the opponent in a short Acoma. With that he picked up Sasuke's body and put him on dry grounds. Sasuke eyes were open and the last word that Naruto would hear from Sasuke was a heart retching 'Please.'

Naruto didn't fail to notice that they were not alone and that they were being watched the whole time. It was Kakashi-sen…Kakashi. He was watching them. He turned toward the direction he sensed him and gave him a small solemn wave. Naruto disappeared into the murky/dark night, leaving not a trace behind.


End file.
